When the Pain Feels Bigger Than Tomorrow

Part One: Understanding Suicide and Recognizing the Signs

The youthful years can be an exciting time for many children, as they enter a phase of life when they are no longer considered kids but are not yet fully adults. With this change of status comes many pressures and challenges, and for many, the thought of suicide can seem like the only way out.

Suicide remains one of the leading causes of death among young people in the United States. Recent CDC data show that in 2023, about 1 in 5 high school students seriously considered attempting suicide, 16% made a suicide plan, and about 9% attempted suicide during the previous year.

These aren't just numbers. They're classmates, friends, brothers and sisters, sons and daughters—young people sitting in our churches.

That's why we need to talk about suicide openly—and without shame.

Suicidal Thoughts and Suicide Attempts Aren't the Same

Suicidal ideation means having thoughts about suicide. These can range from:

“I wish I could disappear.”

to:

“I don't want to wake up.”

to thinking specifically about ending your life.

A suicide attempt occurs when someone intentionally engages in potentially harmful behavior with the intention of dying but survives.

Not everyone who experiences suicidal thoughts will attempt suicide. But all suicidal thoughts deserve to be taken seriously.

How Does Someone Get to That Point?

There usually isn't one simple reason. However, the following factors can increase the risk of suicide:

• Domestic violence
• Family break-up
• Parental expectations and demands that go beyond the teenagers' capabilities or desires
• Sexual abuse
• Broken romantic relationships
• Social media bullying
• Mental health disorders like depression
• Exposure to suicidal behaviors by peers
• Academic pressure
• Family history of suicide

Imagine dealing with family problems while your grades are falling, you've lost your closest friendship, and every time you open social media, it looks like everyone else is doing better than you.

From the outside, someone may say:

“You'll get over it.”

But from the inside, it may feel like:

“I can't take one more thing.”

The Bible Doesn't Hide This Kind of Pain

Christians aren't immune to emotional despair.

After experiencing intense fear and exhaustion, Elijah sat beneath a tree and told God:

“I have had enough, Lord… Take my life.” — 1 Kings 19:4

Jonah also wanted to die.

In his distress and anger, Jonah said:

“It would be better for me to die than to live.” — Jonah 4:3

Scripture doesn't avoid the painful reality of completed suicide either.

King Saul died by suicide after being wounded in battle (1 Samuel 31:4).

Judas Iscariot also died by suicide after betraying Jesus and experiencing overwhelming remorse (Matthew 27:3–5).

Your worst moment doesn't have to become your final moment. Just as God responded with compassion to Elijah and Jonah, He can do the same for you.

Your story can continue.

What Measures Can Keep Us Safe?

Just as there are risk factors, there are also protective factors that can help reduce suicide risk.

These include:

• Supportive family and friendships
• Feeling connected at school and in the community
• Healthy coping skills and strategies
• Access to quality healthcare and mental healthcare
• Having a reason to live

For Christian young people, a healthy church community can also provide something deeply important: belonging.

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us:

“Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

We weren't designed to carry life's heaviest moments alone.

If This Sounds Like You

You may have clicked on this article because you were curious.

But now you're thinking:

“Some of this sounds like me.”

Don't keep that thought to yourself.

Tell someone today.

You don't need the perfect speech. Try:

“I've been having thoughts about suicide, and I need someone to help me.”

Tell a parent, counselor, doctor, teacher, pastor, youth leader, or another trusted adult.

If you're in the United States, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. If you're in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. If you are outside the United States, use your local emergency or crisis service.

Your Pain Doesn't Know Your Future

When you're hurting, today can feel permanent.

But “I can't see how things will get better” isn't the same as “things can never get better.”

David wrote:

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?… Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him.” — Psalm 42:11

Hold onto that little word:

Yet.

I don't know how this gets better…

yet.

You don't have to figure out your entire life today.

Tell someone. Accept help. Stay connected.

Remember—you are more important to the people in your life and to God alive than dead.